Change is hard. Even for a seasoned veteran. But I know it’s extra special hard for you.
Don’t worry. I’ll help you through this.
You may not understand why this is happening. Nothing may make sense to you right now. Your world is being turned upside down and everything will be different from this moment on. It’s understandable for you not to be able to see past your anger and your grief.
I promise you everything will get better.
It won’t ever really go away. Nothing that cuts this deep just vanishes. Scars form; a constant reminder of one of the worst days of your life. Time will pass and eventually, these scars will be a sentimentality, not a gaping wound. You’ll brush your fingers over the ridges and remember him, and all the rough edges have faded. Just the good things remain. A heartbreaking but beautiful reminder that he existed, that he was yours, and there was so much love for a while.
But, right now… everything has to change. You just have to feel through it. Acknowledge it, feel it, own it, and move forward. Give your body and your heart time to grieve. With each passing moment, and each sunrise and sunset, your heart will hurt a little less.
It’s okay to miss him. It’s okay to wish things that couldn’t come true. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to worry that you’ll never feel about anyone the way you felt about him.
I am telling you, when you are ready, you will.
Trust me, I know.
Change, it sucks. But you’ll be better for it.
Nothing is ever guaranteed. You shouldn’t ever get too comfortable and you should never take anything, anyone or any moment for granted.
With love, x